Casting Aside the Anxiety in Order to Simply “Be”

by Heather Schmitt 
Walking out onto Cagli’s piazza alone for the first time, I had no idea what to expect.  I certainly didn’t know anyone, and even if I did, I had little confidence that the little Italian I knew would get me very far.  I learned quickly, however, that a simple “bonjourno!” and a genuine smile was enough to engage a stranger and get me on my way to … the perfect cappuccino.  I describe my smile as “genuine” because it truly was authentic.  I felt this great energy that came from the excitement of being in a new place that posed not only new challenges but an accessible setting that immediately engaged all my senses.  After finishing my cappuccino, it was time to pick up my camera and set out to explore the lovely town of Cagli. 
I decided to head to west – or maybe it was south – (you’ll never find me boasting about my sense of direction). It didn’t matter.  Before I knew it, in less than five minutes I had passed the same woman carrying her child twice, and suddenly we were in “conversation.”  I don’t remember how, but I found out that her child was two, her job was staying at home to take care of her family, and she was happy to have her photo taken.  I think she understood that I had resided in Cagli for one day, been in Florence beforehand, and thought her baby was bella.  However, I didn’t do a very good job of communicating that I was a student.  I think she thought I was a photographer (definitely not the case – but hey, I’m working on it).  It didn’t take words to communicate the pride she had in her little girl, how willing she was to talk with someone, or how pleased I was to engage in my first individual conversation with a Cagliese woman.  I walked away not only with a memorable photograph, but a little more confidence that hey, I can do this – and a surprising realization about how meaningful these interactions the next couple weeks would be. 

Two hours later, I was still snapping pictures, lost in my own world – or better put, “caught up in” the town Cagli – when I turned the corner and spotted an older man standing underneath a Kodak sign.  Two “bonjourno”s and two smiles later, Luigi and I were immersed in conversation and I was meeting his daughter.  We spent what must have been almost 30 minutes asking and answering questions, laughing, misunderstanding, repeating, and saying, “Si!” (“yes, that’s what I meant!”). Much of it, however, was spent simply standing in silence while one of us tried to figure out how to say what we wanted to say without the Italian/English words to do so.

This is not to say that it has been all peaches and roses.  These interactions each posed their challenges.  And with every new exchange, I continue to experience a little anxiety due to my lack of language competence and desire not to offend anyone. There is a definite learning curve when it comes learning the ways of another culture, but a lot of joy that comes with it.  I learned quickly, for example, to enjoy my cappuccino and then pay, and that stores may not be open when I expect them to be. 

But the patience and the interest that these first two people showed in getting to know and understand me was a great reminder.  Isn’t that most of what this experience – and life in general is all about: slowing down to really engage with one another – learning to simply “be” with them? Not because we stand to gain something that can be measured… but because we care enough about them and ourselves to listen and learn.