When Missing is What's Not

By Rachel Phelps

 

I’ve been away from home for sixteen days.  This is the longest amount of time my husband and I have been apart since we’ve known each other—well, since at least our real friendship began (I’ve known him since grade school!). 

Yesterday, one of the locals told me that I better hurry up and get home because “Every husband loves his wife, but sometimes they need a change.”  He was joking (I think, I hope), and I quipped back with something to the effect of “yes, but not if he’s married to me!”  

However, reflecting on this humorous exchange got me thinking about how nice it is to miss things.  Missing something shows us what we value.  Yes, many Americans miss their large cups of coffee when they come to Europe, but they may also miss feelings of acceptance they can only find at home.  In other words, this experience can make us uncomfortable with what we don’t have, or we can embrace the opportunity to evaluate what we appreciate, love, desire—what we are thankful for and blessed by.

 

Part of our time here has included studying different models of the acculturation process and how these phases relate to our basic human needs (ala Maslow’s Hierarchy).  My time in Italy, and in past travels, has shown me that travel simultaneously reveals, challenges, and changes what I think I need.  

When we get caught up in what’s missing, we often fail to realize what’s not. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband, and I am blessed to want to be back with him.  I could let this emotion negatively affect my attitude as my time in Italy winds down, but instead I have found a way to enjoy my time here and my longing for home and husband at the same time.